Congratulations...I got promoted!!!

This is one of the most hilarious episodes of my life and I will look back this and laugh for years to come...


This is how the story goes....


I have been exposed to the corporate world for 2 years. Outstanding awards and encouraging conversations with my bosses meant was that I felt ready for the next level - ready for a promotion. :D

September 1 is the cut-off date every year for deciding who should be promoted and I missed the prerequisite of being 2 years at my position by 3 months. September 2008 would make me 2 yrs and 9 months into the job and so I felt that missing the margin by just a little bit was so unfair. I kept wishing if bosses could bend the rules a little and consider me. As it is, I had performed well and the 2 years rule had a caveat..."considered for promotion whenever one is ready for the next level"...Hence, 2 years was just a guideline...

Then the events unfolded....

We had received "unofficial" news that our senior most manager got promoted to a Partner. And that is the a big thing. Everyone was busy congratuating Big Boss - in private, as the news was "unofficial".

Partner promotions get leaked and are known earlier, for everyone else they have to wait for the congratulations email from our MD on Sep 1.

Everyone was talking about who all will get promoted, how much will the pay rise be considering that we have a very good year. Good year!! = more business!! = better chances of promotion!! = Easier to ignore the 2 year deadline!! = I get promoted!! - This was what I made out of this entire buzz.

It was 17th August and my company had organised a lavish full day beach party to celebrate year-end and to thank everyone for their contribution. I had already gulped a few cans of beer and that’s when Big Boss walked up to me for the first time. He looked all energised with the news of his promotion and with the fact that his wife was going to give birth to their third girl. He likes calling them "Princesses".

He came and told me... (rather, what I heard)..."I would like to congratulate you for the hard work that you have put in. Your effort that has led to promotion. Do not tell anyone as it’s not official yet"...There it was!!! I went numb...I heard congratulations...your effort...promotion...not official...I was being promoted!!...And the news came form none other than Big Boss who had access to all the confidential stuff. So it was as reliable as it could be.

I called up Home, Ashu( my brother) and Ruchi ( My co-blogger and a person very close to me) to break this news. I told them it was un-official and I should get the official news soon via email and decided not to tell anyone else until things got confirmed.

The next 2 weeks passed as slowly as one can imagine. Anxiety, hidden excitement of secrecy, faking to be unaware of promotion and wanting but not being able to celebrate were all first time experiences for me.

Time ticked by. Dad, Ruchi, Ashu would call me to ask if the mail came out. I said not yet and waited. Waited waited and waited.

Then on Monday, 3rd September - the D-day, I was excited. I was refreshing the email once every millisecond. I was just pretending to work. Every pop-up reading ‘You have got mail’ made my heart sink...but led to disappointment as they turned out to be flyers of the numerous online magazines I have signed up for.

Then the email came.... As I read through I could not believe it...my name was not in the list. I was not promoted

In a complete anticlimax I called up Ruchi and told her I have not been promoted...she said call up your boss and ask him. I hesitated...Big boss is now a Partner. He got promoted today, will must be enjoying a party with his family. It was 8 at night. Somehow, Ruchi convinced me to make that call...

You can feel out of place asking someone, "Why I was not promoted". I felt the same.
I asked him as politely as I could. "I remember you congratulated me at the party. My name was not in the list and I am a bit confused"...He replied.”What! Did I say that??....aaaaa.....ohhhh!!....I was actually congratulaing you for the hard work that you have put in that has led to my promotion. Without your efforts my promotion would not have been possible!!!.....You are not due yet. We are trying to get you promoted next year in March".

I kept the phone down, could not believe it..., and then could not stop laughing. I called up home, Ruchi and Ashu and neither could they stop laughing...I had made a complete joker out of my self ( ass is too strong a word :))

Moral of the story - ASSUME = ASS (of) U (and) ME. Assumption + false signals + unrealistic expectation + the habit to dream (especially when you are drunk) = recipe for disaster. :D

But for me, I will continue to dream...set high expectations from myself and still think that the bosses could have made an effort to bend the rules for me...I will continue to give in my best to my firm..

Proud Indian first or a Punjabi, Gujrati, South Indian, Rajasthani or Kasmiri first..

This is for the Indians...

I was watching Star Voice of India…one of the many talent hunt contests these days...I am quite a regular viewer of this program as I find the quality of singers quite good and also because it comes like 5 times from Friday to Sunday and so its on-air whenever I turn on the TV (other options being the K series family dramas or animals running down Africa)...
And today one of the very impressive and strong contestants Toshi got eliminated...My housemate was almost at the brink of crying and I was very sad too...Toshi is a good singer...link to his best performance is here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qgWYACGqLI

Well his elimination can be fair, unlucky or even pre-planned and framed...I am not commenting on that...what strikes me is that the way contestants ask for votes...the Punjabi asks Punjab to vote for him...the host says that South India should stand behind the Hyderabadi singer...When one of the girl sings the judges say..."Maharashtra is behind you"...Well for Toshi…"Rajasthan was not united behind him" commented the shocked host on his elimination...

This brings us to the very fundamental question...Do Indians view themselves as Indians or what strikes the nerve and brings unity is the name of our state or community...

Well…I am sorry to say but the spirit of being Indian is missing from India...

My motive behind this post is not to provoke hard feelings or discouragement…rather it is to understand the meaning behind this “spirit” so that I can feel it too…

Now this "spirit"...really depends on what really brings in unity...and what is the frame of perception of things...

Q) What really brings unity???

A) What’s at stake???

Kargil war is the only Indo-Pak war that I have seen and I can tell that even though I was only 15 that time (not part of grown-up discussions), I could sense a feeling of Indian pride among people...There were huge campaigns in my town to raise money to help the Indian army...to "Defend India"...so what’s at stake?...its India's Pride and so we all were behind it...

As for the Voice of India show ...people should ideally be selecting the Best Singer in India...but they cannot tell the difference when the judge says "It should have been half a tone higher" or when " you where flat in the lower bass"...so the only way to make the audience feel interested and send in Smses (for revenue) is to make them feel that something is at stake...for VOI its the feeling of that a person from your state (aka community) is not the best...Hence a state backing and unity...

But what about the normal day-to-day life? Is India at stake?...well if someone says "Kashmir, or loosing BPO business to inflation" yes it is and we all suddenly take the defensive Indian guard...during a normal trip to the superstore to buy clothes it the trendy look at stake and so ...the sense of Indian is out of the window along with Khadi brands, and western labels are in… only because then can market well... (Believe me… You might have just bought a dress made in Ludhiana...shipped and tagged in US and sold in Delhi for 10 times the price…)

The reason why I say that national unity is missing from India is because there is nothing that one can relate to, that is Indian but at stake...The national icons such as the flag can prove to be a very good tools to display "Indian-ness" but there are unnecessarily complicated rules around it. Cricket is now more of an avenue to quick name and fame...no more spirit...The unparalleled democratic system is surrounded by mistrust..."Republic Day" is just to sleep longer than usual…( A news channel apparently focused on a Gorge Bush speech during our Republic Day)...There is nothing in our culture that is Indian and can ever be put on the line...our states have been divided based on our languages and culture...hence its natural for a much stronger affiliation to states than to the country.

Q) What’s is your Frame of Perception of things??

A) Are you a foreigner???

I feel that the spirit of nationhood and community is sometimes more of a perceived notion than what it actually is. Tell me one country, state or community… you feel is united towards one cause…if you said followers of Baba Ramdev are united in throwing western culture cola out….for your info I was watching a debate on NDTV where a lady pointed out that soft drinks are actually selling outside the camps in Haridwar to relive the people from the scorching heat.

Hence even though not all 100 % of Ramdev’s disciples stand by his side in banning cola, a few if not a lot of them do but there is a perceived sense of unity fuelled by countless speeches, debates and headlocks that make people feel that everyone is following the baba… It’s some sort of advertising or brainwash that counts…

Same holds true for India or any other nation. Being an NRI, I interact with a lot of foreigners…and most of the people ( in India or otherwise) make assumptions about India just based on the what they hear in the media…And the general feel is India is a growing nation which has a lot of people that live next to dustbins and it has 1000 castes and as many political parties to make matters worse…They acknowledge that Indians are real masters of any brain work and they feel awed by India’s capability of churning out brilliant people day in day out even when you look at normal citizens and not just the celebrated ones….But on the flip side they know Indians are people who are not proud of being Indian and are in a rush to “westernize” …something that I fight over with my colleagues whenever I get the chance…They like to call Indian companies “The Indian body shops” as they know that Indians are ready to do their “non value added ” work and can bring in the number of bodies ready to live on the pieces thrown onto them as they are not proud Indians…( well if you just felt offended…does it not prove my point of “what’s at stake” and this time it is your pride instead of the nations)…

This is where other countries score brownie points on “national spirit”…

We all feel that China is a next proud superpower that will take over everything…Chinese project themselves as proud manufactures of everything that you are using right to the computer that you are using right now…America is the “Defender” of the world and Americans are proud people (as they have seen nothing else but America)…the British are still basking in the colonial glory and that they have the Queen under whom they were once a nation where the “sun never sets”….and even if this is not true, this is how things are projected to the outside world hence the perceived spirit of nationhood.

For India thanks to its amazing penetration of media, and the need to dramatize stories in order to score better than the rival newspaper what makes the headlines are all the communal divides, gossip and the non-sense of politicians…When was the last time a news channel reported that Tehri dam had started producing power and that the Golden Quadrilateral in about to be completed…(for those who do not know…golden quadrilateral is the largest express highway project in India connecting Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai and Calcutta…a key to India’s much needed infrastructure http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Quadrilateral). China went ballistic advertising its new train route from Beijing to Lahsa (Tibet) showing the world it had the infrastructure and the foundation to become a major player...

This goes to all the media personnel looking for stories…In the words of Spiderman’s uncle...”with great power comes great responsibility”…the Indian media has an unparalleled freedom of speech and expression…and so keep in mind that media is the face to a nation…Make sure that not only your reports are unbiased but also the topics that you choose for a story…make sure that what makes the headlines are not just allegations and bombings and that the good stuff does not get strangled in the footnotes…

Same goes for Indian brands…there needs to be a more organized effort to “brand” and “advertise” Indian ideas like ayurveda compared to allopathy... impression cannot be created by word of mouth in today’s world… everyone knows ayurveda is good but still every one prefers popping pills only because that is what they hear is good for them….Its all about feeling proud of being Indians first and then creating that impressions on people with limited knowledge…BPO business is not just “non value added work” but the backbone of world economy…if someone tells you that BPO is crap...tell him ok lets assume a scenario where the world looses internet connection with India…can the world function?

Well...whenever I fight with my colleagues and friends on the fact that the image of India that you have in mind is not the correct image...and rather it’s very different… I get to hear…”If you say India is good then why are you here earning dollars and not working in India”…I respond…”I am contributing to India by showing you guys that Indians are much better at things than you ever imagined…and if people like me become the face of India then one day India will be perceived as a proud nation..”….I am trying to do my part to feel like a proud Indian in front of the world but as I see I am one in a billion…

What keep consulting going and consultants on their toes...

Well this is my first post on this blog...the earlier ones have been photos or my paintings...Thanks to all who have appreciated my work and also to all who will do it in the future as I try to get better at it....

To give a background of this post I am a consultant in a very big consulting company who ...well consults...

Coming to the question up for discussion, I was talking to one of my fellow clients over a tea break...as we are quite good and frank to each other he jokingly commented...." you consultants will be here forever...will you ever leave"...I brushed it off saying..."well whatever we do makes life easier for someone"..but this question lingered on for quite a few days..."What keeps consulting going and consultants on their toes"...to be very very frank and proud about it ...consultants are selfless devoted people who put their work in front of everything else...who are ready to clean up someone else's mess...so the question that consultant just cook up work for them is ruled out...


Then today morning like a bolt from the sky I got the "eureka" feeling that Archimedies must have got when he had discovered the buoyancy force (I know it went above some people but I cant help it!...search wikipedia for Eureka_(word))

I had an answer!!...and a simple one...I like to call it "Circle of consulting"
Its Generalisation -> Standardisation -> Optimisation -> Globalisation -> Generalisation...and it goes on...


To explain it further...why do consultants come in in the first place, its because the client cant figure out what’s wrong with his big big complex business. The consultant comes in and "generalizes things" and groups up chaos and vision into manageable list of issues, risks and work plans....once the problems are identified its time to "standardize" ... making the business more manageable by 'aligning' related tasks and making sure everybody who is doing the same job does it the same standard way so that there is more visibility on the work…better collaboration...and its just becomes easier to manage..

Now this is where I found the missing link...

If the client has an easy business to manage its but natural that there is an urge to grow (...make more money in plain terms...)...Hence the wish to "optimize" the business to make sure that all costs are reduced and all profits are maximized…and once the business is functioning "ideally"...the client start to grow it…I used globalisation as 1. It sounds cool and like a consultant lingo... 2. People get "Bangalored"... (work gets outsourced)...

And then the final piece of the puzzle...once the client grows…he complicated the business...reaches a point where he cant figure out what is happening and then ends up pressing...911...and walla!!! ….the consultants are back to help the client generalise->standardise->optimise -> globalise -> and this will just keep going till the urge to "grow" is around...

So my dear client friend...we will be around even longer than you :))


For all readers…if you have reached this line and have not left the post half way…this idea is open to discussion...do submit you views…